1. It’s categorically imperative that we go out. I Kant tell you why.
2. Like a job after college, you are unattainable.
3. Are you part of the aesthetic movement? Because you’re art for art’s sake.
4. I do the same thing in the bedroom that I do in the classroom — change my area of study so often that it takes me forever to finish.
5. So what do you think? Is God really dead?
6. You’re like a dialectic — you can synthesize my antithesis anytime.
7. If this goes any further, you should take the lead; just like on my resume, I have no skills.
8. Just like this campus bubble, I will never leave you.
10. Are you Zelda Fitzgerald? Because you drive me to drink — but, like, in a fun way.
11. You have at least four years of free parking in my heart.
12. I’d like you to participate in more than just my Harkness discussion.
13. I’m very sad. You seem happy. How do you live your life?