Author: Sonia Lessuck
Ever walk into the Marketplace on a weekend morning thinking, “Oh dear God I hope I don’t see that kid from last night!” Or how about, “I can’t believe I sent that text message!” We have become a generation that “hooks up.” Urbandictionary.com defines a hook-up as, “when people have sex, most of the time with no strings attached.” They include an example:
Boy: Wanna hook-up?
* Insert sex here *
Never talked to each other again.For many college students this interaction is all too familiar. I have heard countless women at Oxy say, “it’s something in the water.” But perhaps this no-strings-attached, one-night-stand culture extends further than our bubble. Sophomore Jessie Tiji explains, “I’ve come to the conclusion that it is entirely a generational thing. It is not solely on Oxy’s campus, but rather a widespread social phenomenon. In my opinion, one can blame both parties for encouraging and spreading the idea.”
Every weekend college students go out, red-cups and cell phones in hand, looking to have a good time. For some this means just hanging out at a party, but for most, let’s admit, an added bonus includes something else.
These evenings are a cocktail mix for unemotional, unthoughtful, “whose bed am I in?” hook-ups. In an article in Cosmopolitan magazine, Dr. Kathleen Bogle, author of “Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus” observes, “Hooking up existed before cell phones and e-mail, but back then, it required advanced thought-you had to call someone before going out to ensure you’d be able to meet up with them later.” Now with text messaging, IM, and facebook, last-minute, spontaneous plans are more possible. As a female at Oxy who has been subject to the same scene many girls have had countless discussions about, I struggle constantly to answer why. I find myself and others asking, “Is it me? What happened? Is it them?” Unfortunately I wish I could say I’ve figured the whole thing out, but I’ve come nowhere near.
The main thing, I think, is everyone’s overwhelming interest in themselves. Students cringe at the idea of working with a partner’s schedule or making significant time for another person’s baggage, let alone their own.
We are a generation that pledges allegiance to individualism and instant pleasure. We want what we want, when we want it-and this goes for sex as well. Social norms have been skewed, and we’ve lost touch with romanticism and intimacy. Many of us run around with illusions of the Real World and Gossip Girl. But we aren’t seven strangers picked to live in a house, and we don’t gallop around Manhattan having sex in the back of limos.
When discussing this article with my peers, a number of things kept coming up. With their help, I’ve compiled some general observations and ideas on hooking-up at Oxy:• Eating together at the Marketplace is not a date.• Late night text = booty call (particularly when intoxicated).• 2-3 hook-ups usually means you’ve begun a pseudo- “hooking-up” relationshipSo maybe we are just college students, and for the most part girls do just wanna have fun, but in four years none of us will be Oxy students anymore. Where does that leave us in terms of our relationships with others? Have we truly become a generation incapable of dating and monogamous relationships, or is this something we’ll eventually grow out of?
Sonia Lessuck is a sophomore AHVA major. She can be reached at [email protected]
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