Like any other rational Oxy student, I look forward to my lunch on Wednesday because it means a new issue of the Oxy Weekly. But whereas other students go straight for the Campus Safety reports or the letters to the editor, I am an Opinions man myself. It is due to my great love of opinions that I feel I must speak out over the horrors I have witnessed so far this year.
My beloved Opinions section resembles nothing more than an inarticulate mess of whining, and I could just go to the Marketplace for that. I may be going out on a limb here, but I would like to institute a few rules that those writing these articles may want to follow in the future:
1. Have an opinion: An opinion is a view, judgment, or belief on a particular matter. Someone making fun of you for going abroad to England is not an opinion. If you would like an outlet to vent some of your insecurities, I hear Livejournal has some openings.
2. Once you have your opinion, make it coherent: I’m still trying to parse that one about expensive clothing/pennies/Class of 2011 T-shirts. Still.
3. Check with me to find out if your opinion is interesting or not: a simple email to email@example.com would have let you know that complaining about Old Town and Westwood is not interesting.
Following these simple rules should keep you out of trouble. I shall not elaborate on the topic any further, as I fear the wrath of Kit Warchol and her biting one-liner letters to the editor.
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